Monday 19 November 2012

Parramatta Road

The bus ride back to Petersham is not the most scenic. So in order to remember when I am getting near my stop I started studying the shops. These go through stages. After the park, you hit the furniture shops. Further down there is Mario's Meat Market. Then you hit wedding central. This is where I get off.

Every other shop at least sells wedding dresses/formal wear. They are less tasteful and more gypsy wedding. As I take this bus route a lot, I started trying to identify the worst offender. At this point I must apologise. This is not an interesting theme for a post. But it has been quite a major part of my first month in Sydney so surely it deserves its place in blog posterity? Please excuse the quality of the photos (no, I wasnt going to go inside to request better photograph angles).  
 

So back to the competition. There were a great many contenders. This road is a sea of ivory, cream, chiffon and silk. Should the prize go to the full on meringue monstrosity -the skirt of which was probably about two metres in diameter? Or maybe this delightful combination of champagne taffeta, beaded bodice and diamante roses (pictured left)?
Or the charming take on the mermaid/fishtail look - the tail so oversized that the only way to walk in it would be a charlie chaplin style tightrope walk? I had a lot of love for these bridesmaid dresses (right) - very reminiscent of the Bridget Jones quote "for bridesmaids, furniture fabrics can work surprisingly well." Erm, not if these are anything to go by.
And then I found it. The dress which I would gladly wear down the aisle. Because (a rare joy) it would be just as painful for the congregation as for myself... Full length, more than 50% sheer, with  strategically placed sequins, it would not be out of place in Dancing on Ice. What everyone needs on their perfect day. To know that you are flashing not only your bellybutton and bottom cleavage but also a decent dose of underboob... 



 

But wait! Just when I thought I had reached the end of my quest. I rounded the corner and found the ultimate. The grotesque. The dress that me and Amanda cheerfully nicknamed 'The Peach Labia'. The dress which unfortunately I have to try on as a birthday favour for her... (I would refuse - but then I have been sponging off their hospitality for the last month, so really its the least I can do). Ladies (lets be honest, any gentlemen have stopped reading by now), I give you the best of Parramatta Road.
 
 
 

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