Sun, Shane, and Shameful similarities

I have a gift. Well, its not really a gift. Actually its not a gift by the stretch of anyone's imagination. Its more of a weird hobby. Anyway, enough beating about the bush... are you ready for this...? I quite often see people as animals. Yeah, anticlimactic, I know.  I hasten to add that I don't routinely see giraffes walking down the street or anything - apart from that one time I was convinced I was being followed by an Alsatian. But we don't talk about that...

And its not everyone. But certain people have very distinct characteristics that identify them with certain animals. Like my favourite example: Dustin Hoffman and a Koala.

See...?

Generally I keep these observations quiet. While they are by no means meant to be offensive, when I once told a school friend that he definitely looked like some kind of lizard, it didn't go down well. My Mum did at least agree with me when I shared this with her later.

Personally I don't see myself as having a very distinct similarity to any one species (well, apart from human, I hope!). A lecturer at university once told me I bore a disturbing resemblance to a squirrel monkey. Which I would have ignored if the lecturer in question hadn't been one of the world's leading primatologists. 

More recently I have been compared, very unkindly I feel, to a cockatoo. White face, yellow hair, screeching voice. Grrr. When looking into jobs in the mining industry (where else can one make money in Australia?) the same 'friend' pointed out that I could easily get a job... as the canary.

At this point I will go on a slight tangent. When people think of Brits abroad they think of loud voices, drunken behaviour... and lobster red sun burn. Now I am not a sun worshipper as such. Unlike many of my fellow countrymen I get bored and would rather be doing something with the day (unless I can sleep in the sun, I never pass up the chance to sleep - thats my inner sloth talking). The pursuit of a tan is not my number one goal. As a pale skinned person with an abundance of freckles, I'm never going to achieve the colour of a digestive biscuit. Only the crumbly texture. But I do enjoy the odd hour 'catchin some rays' while reading a good book and enjoying an ice cold DC. Today I finished off the new Shane Warne biography (ok, fine - yellow hair, slightly overweight, bit dumb, the similarities have again been pointed out before). Living in a hot country has inevitable had some effect on my colouring - I recently found some pigmentation on my thigh and back - they look like tea stains. Really no big deal. But on returning inside and looking in the mirror I was aghast. For now I have a large brown stripe running down the bridge of my nose. Not unlike a kind of reverse blaze, such as would be found on a horse. So from monkey to cockatoo to canary, now, it would seem, I resemble nothing more than a splodgey palomino pony. Bugger.